I saw Nate today.
i saw nate today
Well, I was driving down the parking lot of a library, when I started to pass this guy getting into the passenger seat of a car. He looked very familiar to me, so I slowed down and tried to place where I had seen him before. I only saw his profile at first for like 8 seconds, but I had spent enough time back then studying his face to remember exactly what that looked like. This guy also had the same blonde-ish colored hair and he was taller and more muscular than the last time I had seen him, which was waaaaaaaay back in 2009, assuming he had grown like we all have.
And then he turned his head.
It was him. I know it was him. I swear on all that I love that it was him. It all came rushing back to me with the power of an ocean wave. My stomach did about five backflips. I could feel the trembling heat down my throat as my cheeks and head burned. It was like I was standing in front of him again, still madly in love, attempting to make intelligent conversation but making a fool out of myself like I always did. It was as though nothing had changed.
Part of me wanted to jump out of the car right there and run up to him, apologizing for my disgustingly stupid behavior, asking him to forgive me and to just forget what I had done. Another part of me still wanted to get out, knock him to the ground, call him a homophobic prick that he is, and empty a shit ton of oreos onto his face. And another part of me wanted to park and get out when I was ready and just let him notice me on his own, if at all.
I wonder if he would even recognize me. It’s been so long, but it’s so hard to forget someone who gave you two years of memories. And I had wired myself to remember every single day we had together.
In the end, I kept driving.